Inferiority vs. Superiority and a 2009 Dodge Ram Quick Review
All the "Truck" you'll need!
By: Motormensch
There are 2 ways to enjoy the virtues of a big pickup truck. If you’re a putz, you can lift it so high that it loses nearly all of its utility but makes you look cool to – Uh, I guess other putz (I think I just pluralized “putz”) who lift their trucks to the sky. It’s so obvious that they are compensating for something; one of those things is common sense.
The other way? Hell, all you have to do is Drive a new Dodge Ram 1500 (they cost $30 – $50K) and feel the superiority.
I was at the bank the other day, in the midst of testing a 2009 Dodge Ram 1500 which more than compensates for my shortcomings in stock form. Anyway, I see this wee little wana-be man wearing a wife-beater, baggy jeans and massive working boots (that look like they have never been worked in) sporting an ear-bud and yapping away about something he saw on NASCAR T.V. He was like a skinny, redneck-ish George Costanza!
The worst part was what he jumped out of. A massive, lifted, useless (because of its overenthusiastic lift) Ford F250. He snagged a spot from a mom and kids in a minivan. Peewee took 2 parking places in the process. It was a crowded parking lot. He deliberately took 2 spots. The mom in the minivan drove off, disgusted. Oy…
Look at the parking job and the license plate!
Then I spotted his license plate. Double “Oy.”
Just have a look at this photo and enjoy the irony. Okay, okay… It had something else written on it and in this lawsuit happy society; I opted to cover the plate. But you guys can see what had me so steamed – right?
As for the massive 2009 Dodge Ram 1500? Ah, what a superior machine.
Look – It DOES make my reproductive organs larger okay!? The powerful 5.7 liter HEMI puts out 390 horsepower and 410 pound feet of torque. What’s that mean? For me, I could load my fat aunt (350 pounds) Bertha and her family of short chubby-cubbies. That’s a grand total of about 1,700 pounds of human flesh; and I still have a load capacity for 150 pounds of snacks. Or, I could tow their useless/unused/smelly trailer from hillbilly heaven to the city – it weighs about 9,000 pounds.
What’s most important about the 2009 Dodge Ram 1500 is that you can do these distasteful tasks in complete comfort. This is one of the best riding pick-em-up trucks I have ever driven. Much of that has to do with the rear coil suspension. This is as opposed to the stinking leaf-springs everyone else uses… man that design is as old as the covered wagon… no kidding!
Very comfy - very MANLY
This truck needs no alteration for regular duty. Off road, it needs a package for knobby tires and a SLIGHTLY higher ride height. I hope this truck signals things to come for Dodge and the boys at Chrysler. That’s right folks, it’s THAT good.
As for the mini-man and his stupid-as-hell state of mind and his stupid-as-hell truck?
Being that wee-man needs a crane to load simple items in the bed and needs a hoist just to get in, we can all see he’s trying to show the world something. Unfortunately, for anyone who has higher than a 90 IQ, he looks like he suffers from an inferiority complex. I should have waited and said, “Look Napoleon, all you need is this great 2009 Dodge Ram 1500, read ‘I’m Okay You’re Okay’ and some parking lessons!”
I laughed as I watched him scamper (read: climb) back into his rig. I fired up the HEMI and chugged out of the parking-lot, still laughing. It was the laugh of superiority. What can I say? This Dodge Ram brings it out in me.
You don’t need to prove a thing in the Ram!
Similar Posts:
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading ...
Leave your response!